"David's House"

I have a confession to make. I may have misled some people when I blogged about how helpless I am in finding food when Laura isn't at home. When you read "helpless" what I'm really saying is "lazy." The truth is I am a decent cook, despite the sexist discrimination that prevented me (or any male) from taking home-economics in high school. While I specialize in grilling red meat (since I'm a man), I love cooking breakfast food. That is why I have unofficially started a breakfast restaurant called "David's House."

Now before y'all come knocking on my door at 6 am for a cup of coffee and some hashbrowns, this restaurant is only open on days when Laura doesn't want to get out of bed. The executive chef of this restaurant (me) guarantees speedy preparation, ingredients that have been on the floor for 5 seconds or less, and making huge messes. I can guarantee a huge mess because I can't throw an egg shell behind my back into the in-sink-erator (aka garbage disposal) from across the room with much consistency.

If any of you are fortunate enough to dine at David's House in the future, here's a preview of the menu:

scrambled eggs

fried eggs

ugly omelettes

cereal

burnt toast

coffee

I can promise that after you eat at David's House you'll leave saying, "Well, at least I didn't pay for that."